epiphany / mantra

Yesterday I was feeling suicidal again at work, so I left at 1pm and headed home to hug the children. When I'm with the kids (especially one on one), I can always just revert to my inner child and experience the pure joy of simple being in the Now, a smile, complete spontaneity without consequences, play, natural existence.

To my surprise, the house was completely empty.

To my relief, the house was completely clean.

I went about a little personal cleaning. Since my possessions can now all safely fit in the back of my truck, this is fairly simple. A little laundry here, a few pieces of old mail and file folders there. And then, I rediscovered my costumes and my Miata.

It was about this time my inner voice said "I can do art." It was that simple. And I heard it over and over and over again. And it brought a smile to my face. As I hummed, I remembered my dear old friend Belle, who used to pass out business cards that said in big stenciled letters on the back "ART SAVES LIVES". And then my hum broke into a chant, and soon the chant became a song, and I was singing! It was a wonderful beautiful harmony melody dance of notes, and it brought pure joy to my heart and lungs.

I Can Do Art, ICANDOAT, ICanDoArt, EyeKanDooArt, I CAN DO ART

I wrote on my door of madness, and instead of the robotic entheo-runes, out flowed natural, zen like calligraphic script! The big word said:

ARTIST

Throughout this I ran into little doubt machines, and I summoned my strength and banished them.

My first project, somewhat questionably (doubt machine again? BAH!), will be the manufacture of an art car.

1994 Mazda MX-5 Miata >>> Transforma! >>> The Mach 5

I got out the BEASTdrill (an old 1950s direct drive 1/2" drill that puts any modern machine to shame), throwing blue sparks everywhere, and drilled out the last stubborn stuck bolt holding the passenger seat to the chassis. I now have a pristine Miata, new roof, no seats, ready for mod.

My awesome grounded Georgia neighbor Hugh came over later that night and we surveyed the car for like 30 minutes, comparing it against my c. 1988 Fujimako MX-5 model car kit, mapping out the mods. Playa ready by 2009. Let the art begin! :)