Metta: the Art of Loving Touch

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

— H.H. the Dalai Lama

I touch a lot of people.  With my hands. With my arms. With my heart. With guidance. With massage. With hugs.

And sometimes, there is this conversation that comes up. And it all revolves around the nature of touch. The issue at hand is, when the touch is given, is it coming from a place of sexual desire, or from a place of heartfelt compassion? With touch there is usually a giver and a receiver. The giver is the initiator of the touch. In a trusting situation, if the giver has sexual intention, and the receiver does not, then it becomes uncomfortable for both. So as givers of touch, it is of prime importance to be highly sensitive to and aware of the subtleties of context, energy, and intention... and in most all situations, to concentrate on a deeply compassionate, non-sexualized form of touch.

There is a word for this form in traditional Buddhism. It is called "metta." I first learned about metta in Thai massage classes. And it is how I open almost all my partner and flying yoga classes. At its core it is really simple.

Sexual touch originates from the second chakra, from our genitalia, up our spine, down our arms, and into the receiver. It is orange. It is laced with aggression, even when it is gentle. It comes from the perspective of a lover. It wants connection. It has desire. It asks something from the receiver.

Compassionate touch originates from the heart chakra, from our heart centers, straight out our arms, through our palms, and into the receiver. It is green. It can be feather light, or amazingly strong and deep. Its core quality is that of listening. Metta is an unconditional gift.. it is solely concerned about the well-being of the receiver, and asks nothing in return. It strives to give the receiver exactly the energy he/she needs in that very moment. It is closest to the perspective of a loving parent. It wants healing. It has sensitivity. It is a true gift.

Most people only have experience of touch as: handshakes, hugs, lovemaking, and perhaps fighting. To help people get out of these default modes, and into real metta, I often lead my classes through a simple visualization, which I will share with you here.

Everyone sit in a circle, sitting Indian style, knees touching. Everyone, close your eyes. Extend your arms, and place your hands gently yet firmly on the backs of the people next to you, right atop where their heart is. *Feel* their body. Focus your awareness on the point of contact. Listen. Sensitize yourself to the gentle rise and fall of their spine as they breath deeply, in and out. See if everyone can synchronize the breath... deep breath in... deep breath out... Now, focus your attention on your own breathing. Breath in, and feel the prana, the energy of the universe, filling your lungs. Breath out, and release all your fears and doubts. Continue breathing... slowly... and deeply. Now focus on your heart chakra. Feel the glowing green energy that is pure love... feel it growing and increasing with every breath, with every heartbeat. Visualize that green, glowing, compassionate heart energy flowing, flowing out from your heart, through your shoulders, along your arms, into your hands, through your palms, and into your partner. Listen. Feel what they need. Know intuitively that you have a gift of healing inside you. Transmit that energetic gift, that warm, loving compassion, that heart-felt, heart-forward touch. breath deep. feel. listen. breath. listen. glow... and let go.

So go forth and touch, hug, massage, dance, cuddle... and when you are in a safe container, or a group, or a class, focus on your heart, listen to your partner, and make good metta. :)

Greg Roberts
www.gregroberts.com

metta comes from an unending source of energy... use it with abundance and joy :)